Empower
yourself by
setting goals

Most of us don’t really notice the words we use in everyday speech. In addition to our formal education about language at school, we pick up phrases, terms or slang from our childhood, our friends, and from TV, movies or books. Before we know it, these words and phrases are part of our everyday dialogue and thought patterns. Become more empowered by gaining awareness of the words you use, especially about hemophilia. Hemophilia can be seen as a curse or blessing; a handicap or strength; a burden or challenge; a disease or disorder. We must choose words like blessing, strength or challenge, words that encourage and give hope. Avoid words like curse, handicap or burden, words that are negative, defeating and cynical.
Realize that the words you choose aren’t just words; they have a powerful influence on your thoughts, emotions, actions and ultimately, your destiny.
Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Choose your words, for they become behaviors. Understand your behaviors, for they become habits. Study your habits, for they will become your character. Develop your character, for it will become your destiny.
For example, we all use the word problem. Problem usually implies something bad. Substitute the word with challenge.
Challenge implies something that taps our strength and abilities; a hurdle we can overcome. If you view your problem as a challenge, you may feel more empowered and optimistic about the task ahead. Another word we commonly use is can’t. It’s the worst four-letter word! Instead of saying - I can’t do this infusion, try. I’m working on learning infusions. Watch out for the way you use the word ‘you’, especially when you have a conflict with someone. You can easily focus blame on the other person, allowing us to avoid responsibility!
When misfortune does happen, avoid asking ‘Why’. As we’ve learned, why questions often lead to answers that assesses blame, and may lead to no answers! Instead, ask .How? Phrase your question so that your mind searches for solutions, not for blame. For example, instead of asking, - Why didn’t my sisters children get hemophilia? Why only us? Ask, how can I show my family that hemophilia is just another challenge in life that our faith in ourselves as parents, will overcome?
Avoid words or phrases that are labels. Children, with or without hemophilia, should never be given hurtful labels. A parent might offhandedly say, .He has hemophilia; he’s my problem child.. Imagine what the child thinks about himself when hearing this! And what if he hears it all the time? What will this do to his self-esteem? Labels can rob us of empowerment by closing our minds to possibilities. Labels prevent us from getting to know another person on his or her own merit.
What about hemophiliac? Be careful how you use hemophilia terms when describing your child. According to child development experts, describing a child in terms of his disabilities or limitations teaches the child to think of himself in a limited way. He begins to perceive and think, I’m different, I have something wrong with me, I scare people, or I’m a burden on my family. So don’t describe your child as his disorder: He’s a hemophiliac. It’s far more empowering to describe him as a child who happens to have hemophilia.
So avoid using labels when you introduce your child, he’s a child with many positive attributes. Encourage positive words in your family, and in your daily life, which will leave room for possibilities and empowerment!